May 14 Sunday – In a bound scrapbook with autographic comments in Sam’s handwriting, dated 1869, there is an entry with this date. The scrapbook calls for “mental” photographic statements and even has a place for an actual photograph, though none is included in the book. Sam answers a series of questions; this is similar to other “surveys” he answered about his favorites and preferences:
Samuel L. Clemens , May 14, 1871
Color: Anything but dun
Flower: The bright blooming Sirius the dog star which …[in a footnote he calls this constellation a “flower”]
Tree: Any that bears forbidden fruit
Object in Nature: A dumb belle
Hour in the day: The leisure hour
Season of the year: the present
Perfume: Cent per cent
Gem? The jack of diamonds—when it’s trump
Style of Beauty: the Subscriber’s [some in the book state “blonde” for example]
Names, Male and Female: M’aimes (Maimie) for a female and Jacus [sic] & Marius for males.
Painters? Sign painters
Musicians? Harper & Bros.
Piece of Sculpture: The Greek slave with his hoe
Poets? [Sam crossed out the “s”]: Robert Browning, when he has a lucid interval
Poetesses [Sam crossed out the “es”] Timothy Titcomb
Prose Authors [Sam crossed out the “s]”: Noah Webster LLD
Character[Sam added an “s”] in Romance? The Napoleon Family
in History? King Herod
Book to take up for an hour: Vanderbilt’s Pocket Book
What book (not religious) would you part with last: The one I might be reading on railroad during the dvisas [?] to season
What epoch would you choose to have lived in? Before the present Erie – it was safer
Where would you like to live? In the Moon—because there is no water there.
What is your favorite amusement? Hunting the “tiger” or some kindred game
What is your favorite occupation? “like dew on the gowan—lying.”
What trait of character do you most admire in a man? The noblest form of cannibalism—love for his fellow man.
What trait of character do you most admire in women? Love for her fellow man
What trait of character do you most detest in each: That “trait” which you put “or” to describe its possessor.
If not yourself who would you rather be? The wandering Jew with a nice annuity
What is your idea of happiness? Finding the buttons all on.
What is your idea of misery? Breaking an egg in your pocket
What is your bete noire? What is my which?
What is your dream? Nightmare as a general thing
What do you most dread? Exposure
What do you believe to be your distinguishing characteristics? Hunger
If married, what do you believe to be the distinguishing characteristics of your better half? Opinion reserved
What is the sublimest passion of which human nature is capable? Love your sweetheart’s enemies
What are the sweetest words in the world? Not guilty
What are the saddest words? “Dust unto Dust”
What is your aim in life? To endeavor to be absent when my time comes.
What is your motto? Be virtuous and you will be eccentric
[Transcribed by Margaret Sibbitt from scrapbook at Beinecke Library at Yale, nowadays a University].