January 11 Saturday – Washington Morning Chronicle:

The subject of his remarks was the recent trip of a party of excursionists on the steamship Quaker City to Europe and points on the Mediterranean, and his descriptions were replete with sparkling wit, to which his slow, deliberate style of speaking gave a peculiar charm [Fatout, MT Speaking 648].

That evening Sam spoke at the Newspapers Correspondents Dinner, at Welcker’s Restaurant. In attendance was Speaker of the House, “Wily Smiler” Schuyler Colfax, who later became Vice President in the Grant Administration. Note: the press coined Colfax’s nickname, which Vogelback says reflected “a grudging admiration for the man’s political adroitness and a distrust of his perpetual smile” [Tribune 376].

Sam, responding to the twelfth toast, offered,

“Woman—the Pride of Any Profession and the Jewel of Ours. What, sir, would the people of this earth be, without woman? They would be scarce, sir—almighty scarce” [Fatout, MT Speaking 20-1].

Sam’s MARK TWAIN’S LETTERS FROM WASHINGTON, NUMBER III of Dec. 20 ran in the Virginia City Enterprise and included a prose parody of Poe’s “The Raven,” in a section titled, “Lost Chief found.” Other sections: “A Voluminous Telegram,” “California Senator,” “President,” and:

Adjournment.

Congress adjourned yesterday. I don’t know whether they have done anything or not. I don’t think they have. However, let us not forget that they have “retrenched.” They have passed the stationery resolution—they have eased up some on one thousand millions of debt—they have smitten the Goliath of gold with a pebble—they have saved the country. God will bless them. Let the new David bring the head of the monster to the foot of the throne, and go after more. I tremble to think they may abolish the franking privilege next.

      The Ark has rested on Ararat. The most of the animals have gone away to New York and elsewhere. But I believe the Pacific delegation propose to remain here during the vacation and get ready for business—for stirring times are at hand. MARK TWAIN [ET&S 2: 63].