December 23 Wednesday – At the 100th performance of the Gilded Age play, Park Theatre, New York City, Sam gave a curtain speech, as advertised [published in Mark Twain Speaking, p.92-3. also see the New York Times reprint from Dec. 24, and MTL 6: 329].

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN: I thank you for this call, for it gives me an opportunity to testify my appreciation of the vast compliment which the Metropolis has paid to Mr. Raymond and me in approving of our efforts to the very substantial extent of filling this house for us a hundred nights in succession. After such praise as this from the first city in the land it would be useless for me to try to pretend that we are not feeling a good deal “set up,” so I shall not pretend anything of the kind. We feel a good deal vainer than anybody would want to confess [Laughter] I learned through the newspapers that I was to make a speech here tonight, and so I went hard to work, as I always do, to try and do the very best I possibly could on this occasion. I was determined to do it; I went at it faithfully, but when I came to look critically into this matter I found that I shouldered a pretty heavy contract [Laughter] I found I shouldered a very heavy contract because there is only one topic that is proper to be discussed on this platform at this time, and that is this play and these actors and all the success which this play has met. Very well, that is an excellent subject — for somebody else [Laughter] It is right for an outsider or for somebody not connected with the concern, but for me, the dramatist, to praise these actors of mine, to praise this play of mine, and this success of ours — that would not come gracefully from me. There would be a little egotism in it. Neither can I criticise and abuse the actors, for I don’t want to. I could abuse the play, but I have better judgment, [laughter and applause] and I cannot praise these actors of mine right here in their hearing and before their faces, for that would make anybody with flesh and blood unhappy, and, indeed, to praise them would be like praising the members of my own family and glorifying the lady who does our washing [Laughter] And the more I think of this matter, the more I see the difficulty of the position, until I find myself in a condition I once before experienced [Mr. Twain here recited from his published work, ROUGHING IT, the sketch “A Genuine Mexican Plug,” in a spirit of dry humor which convulsed the audience with laughter. The incident referred tow as his unhappy experience with a Mexican horse, in which he came to grief] Through that adventure, he continued, through the misfortune I lost the faculty of speech; for twenty-four hours I was absolutely speechless, and this is the second time that that has occurred [Applause].