September 28 Friday – In the afternoon or evening (if as intended) the Clemens family finally returned home to Hartford [Sept. 26 to Whitmore].

Not one to let grass grow underfoot, Sam right away wrote two spoof ads to William Mackay Laffan that he wished to run in Laffan’s N.Y. Sun. Sam’s gripes were the same as his letter to the editor of the Courant and the Hartford Times, and ultimately to the Sun — the street lights and the polluted river in the center of Hartford:

To Burglars.

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Burglars out of employment are invited by the City Government of Hartford to consider the unusual inducements which it offers before completing engagements for the winter. Street lights turned off at 2 a.m. Address MARK TWAIN, Advertising Agent of the C.G.

To Undertakers

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The City Government of Hartford desire to call the attention of undertakers to the fact that it has been maintaining for many years, at great economy, an open sewer through the centre of the city. Address MARK TWAIN, Ad. Agt. A.G.

Sam hoped to “get up a quarrel & maybe a lawsuit over it.” Sam was also growing cynical about the Paige machine being finished:

Her finish is dated for Oct 21st, but they probably mean some other 21st [MTP].

A.R. Darrow wrote from Buffalo sending Sam his “first publication in book form” — he asked if Sam was “sufficiently interested” that he “write to me criticizing it…” [MTP].

James B. Pond wrote to Sam asking for a letter he might use in his circular. Sam wrote on the envelope, “Always sings the same tune” [MTP].