April 10 Thursday – In Riverdale, N.Y. Sam wrote to The American Plasmon Co., 361 Broadway, N.Y.: “Has Mr. Butters returned? Any news? What is your telephone address?” [MTP]. Note: Henry A. Butters.
Sam also wrote to the editor of the Springfield (Mass.) Republican. The letter ran in the Apr. 12 issue of the newspaper [MTP].
To the Editor of the Republican:
One of your citizens has asked me a question about the “œsophagus,” & I wish to answer him through you. This in the hope that the answer will get around, & save me some penmanship, for I have already replied to the same question more than several times, & am not getting as much holiday as I ought to have.
I published a short story lately, & it was in that that I put the œsophagus. I will say privately that I expected it to bother some people—in fact, that was the intention,—but the harvest has been larger than I was calculating upon. The œsophagus has gathered in the guilty & the innocent alike, whereas I was only fishing for the innocent—the innocent & confiding. I knew a few of these would write & ask me; that would give me but little trouble; but I was not expecting that the wise & the learned would call upon me for succor. However, that has happened, & it is time for me to speak up & stop the inquiries if I can, for letter-writing is not restful to me, & I am not having so much fun out of this thing as I counted on. That you may understand the situation, I will insert a couple of sample inquiries. The first is from a public instructor in the Philippines:
Santa Cruz, Ilocos Sur, P. I.
February 13, 1902.
My Dear Sir: I have just been reading the first part of your latest story, entitled “A Double-Barrelled Detective Story,” and am very much delighted with it. In Part IV, page 264, Harper’s Magazine for January, occurs this passage: “far in the empty sky a solitary ‘œsophagus’ slept, upon motionless wing; everywhere brooded stillness, serenity, and the peace of God.” Now, there is one word I do not understand, namely, “œsophagus.”
My only work of reference is the “Standard Dictionary,” but that fails to explain the meaning. If you can spare the time, I would be glad to have the meaning cleared up, as I consider the passage a very touching and beautiful one. It may seem foolish to you, but consider my lack of means away out in the northern part of Luzon.
Yours very truly.
Do you notice? Nothing in the paragraph disturbed him but that one word. It shows that that paragraph was most ably constructed for the deception it was intended to put upon the reader. It was my intention that it should read plausibly, & it is now plain that it does; it was my intention that it should be emotional & touching, & you see, yourself, that it fetched this public instructor. Alas, if I had but left that one treacherous word out, I should have scored! scored everywhere; & the paragraph would have slidden through every reader’s sensibilities like oil, & left not a suspicion behind.
Sam also wrote to Thomas R. Lounsbury, Yale professor, referred to in the above Republican article, who had reacted to “oesophagus.”
“Yes—it is a joke, & you are an ignoramus! Read the whole paragraph & you will see that there is not a vestige of sense in any detail of it. Why do you let such obvious traps catch you in your maturity?”
[MTP].
Sam’s notebook: “May 3/01 / Chi. & Alton pf. 81 5/8” [NB 45 TS 10]. Note: Chicago & Alton RR.
Livy’s diary: “Mark McGinnis; Mildred Holden here for dinner & the night…Mr Borce, Mr Michael Stillman & Mr Ruhl here for the dinner” [MTP: DV161].
Chatto & Windus wrote to Sam.
Harpers have sent us the early proof slips in volume form of your new tale “A Double Barreled Detective Story,” and we are asking them to supply us with a duplicate set of their plates, from which to issue as soon as possible an English edition, which we propose to do at the publishing price of 3/6d., on which we will pay you a royalty of Seven-pence (7d.) per copy, being the same as on your previous short volumes first published 3/6d., viz., “Tom Sawyer Detective,” “Tom Sawyer Abroad,” “The Stolen White Elephant,” “The Million Pound Bank-Note,” and “Puddenhead Wilson.” We do not think that the book is long enough to make a 6/-volume for the English market, but we hope that it will go at 3/6d., and that you will approve of our doing it as we propose [MTP]. Note: Sam wrote a short reply on Apr. 19.
Sam’s Juggernaut Club Rules were assigned to this date:
Constitution and Laws of the Juggernaut Club
MOTTO: (From “Indian Lore”—BURNET)
THE good Juggernath (or Juggernaut) is the only deity among the two million gods of India who has no preferences, no partialities, no prejudices, no resentments, and sets no man higher than another, nor lower. He is the common friend of the human race; in his presence master and slave, prince and peasant, banker and beggar stand upon one level; at his temple’s threshold rank and caste dissolve away, and before his altar, and not elsewhere in the globe, Sudra and Brahman eat from the same dish and drink from the same cup without defilement.
THE CHIEF SERVANT
1. He is not removable save by a three-fourths vote.
DUTIES OF THE OFFICE
He alone is privileged to know the names and addresses of the other Members of the Club—this privilege not to be withdrawn except by operation of Paragraph 5;
He appoints his successor. This power shall remain with all successors.
The Chief Servant must reveal to his successor the names of the Members of the Club.
SAFEGUARDS OF PRIVACY
The Chief Servant, if authorized by vote in writing, may reveal to the several Members the names and addresses of the Membership, but the vote must be unanimous. A single negative voice defeats the proposition.
The proposition shall remain open without limit as to time—years, if need be—and shall not have effect until every member shall have voted.
Silence thus constitutes a suspension of the proposition indefinitely.
The proposition can be renewed at any time after a unanimous negative vote has been cast.
The Chief Servant cannot discuss the Order with persons not of it, nor disclose to them the name of any Member.
As Chief Servant this officer’s nationality is in abeyance, and he is merely Member at Large for the Human Race. Therefore a Member to represent his own country can be added to the roster.
POWERS OF THE CHIEF SERVANT
The Chief Servant may appoint to Membership whom he pleases—
Provided: That his power in this matter shall be strictly limited by the requirements of Paragraph 16.
QUALIFICATIONS FOR MEMBERSHIP
Superior mentality, joined with sincerity and the spirit of good will; these are the sole qualifications required.
REMARKS
Distinction derived from achievement or from birth and caste is not a qualification; neither is it a bar.
For the Order is an Aristocracy and a Democracy in one, and the Membership meet upon one common elevation, one common platform of merit, as prescribed in Paragraph 13. Outside the doors of this imaginary Temple of Juggernaut, where the Club foregathers in the spirit, the Members preserve their acquired and inherited distinctions, ranks, castes and globe-distributed nationalities; but inside it ranks cease, nationalities cease; no clan is represented there but the Human Race; there is no head to the table, and the Sudra and the Brahman eat together without defilement.
RESTRICTIONS
There can be one Member in each country of the world, but never two at the same time.
The person appointed should be a native of the country represented; but this is not imperative.
Only death can dissolve a Member’s connection with the Order. Mourning for a deceased Member shall continue one year.
During the period of mourning the vacancy cannot be filled.
While one Member remains alive the Club exists in full force, and said Member is Chief Servant and equipped with the several powers and privileges of the office.
BADGE
There shall be an Emblem, or Badge of Membership, to be worn or not, as each Member shall for himself choose.
This Badge shall be provided by the Chief Servant at his own cost.
OBJECT OF THE ORDER
This shall be determined by the Membership, and at their pleasure broadened or narrowed from time to time as expediency may suggest and a majority vote direct.
The Chief Servant shall obey their command, thus conveyed, and execute their will.
MATRICULATION FEES AND DUES
25. There shall be none.
A true copy.
Riverdale, New York City, April 10, 1902
Frederick A. Duneka wrote to Sam, enclosing $1,000 check from the N.A.R.; he repeated the fact that large cancellations of subscriptions to the six-volume set of his books prevented early royalty payments, but they added 498 sets confirmed delivered amounting to an additional royalty payable May 1 of $896.40 and projected royalties due by June 30 should be in excess of $15,000 [MTP].
Miss Nixola Greeley Smith wrote to Sam.
I have puzzled over the note you were good enough to write to me the day after I saw you at Riverdale and though the six weeks of your journey are over and I hear you are once more in New York, I am stupid enough not to see the connection between your remark, i.e., that you would discuss the Astor matter for $5,000….I hope you will be generous and explain. I shall always remember my visit to you and your great kindness [MTP]. Note: Sam wrote on the env. “From Horace Greeley’s grand-daughter”.
The other sample inquiry is from a professor in a New England university. It contains one naughty word (which I cannot bear to suppress), but he is not in the theological department, so it is no harm:—
Dear Mr. Clemens: “Far in the empty sky a solitary œsophagus slept upon motionless wing.”
It is not often I get a chance to read much periodical literature, but I have just gone through at this belated period, with much gratification and edification, your “Double-Barrelled Detective Story.”
But what in hell is an œsophagus? I keep one myself, but it never sleeps in the air or anywhere else. My profession is to deal with words, and œsophagus interested me the moment I lighted upon it. But as a companion of my youth used to say, “I’ll be eternally, co-eternally cussed” if I can make it out. Is it a joke, or I an ignoramus?
Between you & me, I was almost ashamed of having fooled that man, but for pride’s sake I was not going to say so. I wrote & told him it was a joke—& that is what I am now saying to my Springfield inquirer. And I told him to carefully read the whole paragraph, & he would find not a vestige of sense in any detail of it. This also I commend to my Springfield inquirer.
I have confessed. I am sorry—partially. I will not do so any more—for the present. Don’t ask me any more questions; let the œsophagus have a rest—on his same old motionless wing.
Mark Twain.
New York City, April 10, 1902.