July 12 Tuesday – In the S.S. Lahn, at sea en route to Bremen, Sam gave a reading. In a mock trial, Mark Twain was accused and convicted of “inordinate and unscientific lying.” Paine writes,

“Many witnesses testified, and his own testimony was so unconvincing that the jury convicted him without leaving the bench. He was sentenced to read aloud from his own works for a considerable period every day until the steamer should reach port. It is said that he faithfully carried out this part of the program, and that the proceeds from the trial and the various readings amounted to something more than six hundred dollars, which was turned over to the Seamen’s Fund” [MTB 947-8].

The Washington Post, Nov. 13, 1892 p.12 ran, “TWAIN IN DURANCE VILE / Ludicrous Trials of a Humorist in the Middle of the Ocean. / IS GUILTY OF MENDACITY”:

It was in the month of July last that Mark Twain was put into irons and brought before an admiralty court upon serious charges. The story of that experience in the life of the famous humorist has just been brought back to the country by some of those who witnessed the trial and who saw Mark Twain in chains, and nothing he has ever written contains more humorous suggestions than does this story.

Among Mark Twain’s fellow passengers upon the steamship Lahn were ex Judge Dittenhoefer, Sydney Webster, of Boston, an eminent lawyer; James T. Wallach, a prominent merchant of this city, and a party of twelve Yale students, among them being the famous football champion of Yale, Mr. McClung.

Mark Twain had made merry with the passengers. He told some of the most extraordinary stories, which, while they had the appearance of having occurred to him at the moment, he insisted were veritable chronicles, and, as incredulity prevailed among the passengers, it was at last publicly declared that Mark Twain was “in his capacity as a story teller an inordinate and scientific liar,” says the New York Advertiser. The humorist resented these accusations, insisting that if in any of his published narrations there appeared to be anything which justified such accusations, he had written it in moments of irresponsibility or insanity, and he declared that he was willing to stand trial upon these charges.

Capt. Dampfer, who has the power of an autocrat upon his ship, authorized a court of admiralty to be organized, of which Mr. Dittenhoefer was appointed judge. Mr. Wallace was chosen by the court counsel for prosecution, and Mark Twain selected the eminent lawyer, Mr. Webster, counsel for the defense. The Yale students were impaneled as jurors, and Mr. McClung was made foreman.

Note: Thomas Lee “Bum” McClung (1870-1914), later served as the 22nd Treasurer of the US under Taft.

Sam autographed a caligraphied, “Admiralty Court Document” on North German Lloyd Steamship Co. letterhead that read:

“Admiralty Court – This verifies that the bearer has made a contribution to the Seaman’s Fund in satisfaction of the decree of the Court which tried Mark Twain this day for inordinate and unscientific Lying and found him guilty. Dittenhoefer, Judge / Wales Hicks [?] Sheriff. [two lines illegible] Steamer Lahn at Sea July 12, 1892” [www.liveauctioneers.com/item/3786601; sale June 30, 2007 — See image of the decree]. Note: several scholars have mistakenly reported this as July 14 which is the date given by the Nov. 13, 1892 Washington Post article months later. Interestingly, only brief mention was made of the mock trial in Sam’s notebook: “The trial at Sea was well done — so was the part of the two sailors” [NB 32 TS 16].