February 10 Thursday – In New York at 2 P.M., Sam wrote to Livy:
…I have memorized 71 lines in a day & kept them in an absolutely exact state during 8 hours of sleep.
I have had a lecture to-day, & shall attend to some business duties the rest of the afternoon. I love you, dearest [MTP].
Sam visited the Websters’ where his sister Pamela was visiting. On Feb. 17, Thursday, Pamela wrote to her son Samuel Moffett, then in California, about Sam’s visit on this day and his memory classes:
Your Uncle Sam came to see us last week Thursday [Feb. 10]. He had been in the city two or three days taking lessons in the art of cultivating the memory. Thought the system was good, and founded on philosophical principles, but was not at liberty to tell what it was. Clara Spaulding’s husband [John Barry Stanchfield], who is a lawyer, and at present Mayor of Elmira, was one of his fellow students [Tenney transcription of Moffett Papers at MTP].
At 7 P.M., Sam attended the Stationers Board of Trade Dinner, at the Hotel Brunswick, [Fatout, MT Speaking 216-18; N.Y. Times, Feb. 10, 1887 p.3]. Fatout points out that Sam possibly considered “an appearance at a dinner of the board was good for business,” and that though feigning surprise at being asked to speak, Sam was “well prepared and thoroughly rehearsed.”
I am here in the character of author and publisher, but I think I will let that rest. Oh, I can tell you a great deal about publishing, but I don’t think I will. I am rather too fresh yet. I am at the honest stage now, but after a while, when I graduate and grow rich, I will tell you all about it.
Education is so common that an education is within the grasp of everyone, and if he does not want to pay for it, why here is the state ready to pay for it for him. But sometimes I want to inquire what an education is. I remember myself, and all of you old fellows probably remember the same of yourselves, that when I went to school I was told than an adjective is an adverb and it must be governed by the third person singular, and all that sort of thing — and when I got out of school I straightway forgot all about it. In my combined character of publisher and author I receive a great many manuscripts from people who say they want a candid opinion whether that is good literature or not. That is all a lie; what they want is a compliment. But as to this matter of education, the first thing that strikes you is how much teaching has really been done and how much worthless cramming. You have all seen a little book called English as She is Spoke. Now, in my capacity of publisher I recently received a manuscript from a teacher [Caroline Le Row] which embodied a number of answers given by her pupils to questions propounded. These answers show that the children had nothing but the sound to go by; the sense was perfectly empty. Here are some of their answers to words they were asked to define: auriferous — pertaining to an orifice; ammonia — the food of the gods; equestrian — one who asks questions; parasite — a kind of umbrella; ipecac — a man who likes a good dinner. And here is the definition of an ancient word honored by a great party: Republican — a sinner mentioned in the Bible. …Here, too, is a sample of a boy’s composition on girls, which, I must say, I rather like:
“Girls are very stuckup and dignified in their manner and behaveyour. They think more of dress than anything and like to play with dowls and rags. They cry if they see a cow in a far distance and are afraid of guns. They stay at home all the time and go to church every Sunday. They are al-ways sick. They are al-ways funy and making fun of boys hands and they say how dirty. They cant play marbles. I pity them poor things. They make fun of boys and then turn round and love them. I don’t beleave they ever killed a cat or anything. They look out every nite and say, ‘Oh, a’nt the moon lovely!’ Thir is one thing I have not told and that his they al-ways know their lessons bettern boys.”
The next day, the New York Times wrote up the dinner on page 5.
LABOR’S RIGHT AND WRONG
MAYOR HEWITT AND MR. DEPEW DISCUSS THE STRIKE.
UNION FOR PROPER PURPOSES UPHELD AND TYRANNY DENOUNCED AT THE ANNUAL DINNER OF THE STATIONERS.
The big banquet hall of the Hotel Brunswick was sedately gay last night on the occasion of the twelfth annual dinner of the Stationers’ Board of Trade. H.B. Barnes presided, and some of those over whom he presided were Gen. Stewart L. Woodford, J Seaver Page, Commisioner Charles N. Taintor, Byron Weston, George L. Pease, Samuel L. Clemens, Charles C. Beaman, W.J. Martin, the Rev. Lyman Abbott, E.J. Horseman, John A. Walker, Edward Todd, W.D.L. Barnes, John V. Koch, H.E. Pratt, William B. Boorum, T.E. Smith, Henry C. Bainbridge, and D. Pritchard…
Charles Hopkins Clark for the Hartford Courant wrote to Sam:
We all missed you at the Club. You are down for the next essay at Mr. Goodwin’s Feb. 21st — one day ahead of George Washington [MTP]. Note: he also included a drawing and a plan for draining some of the local areas to avert the threat of malaria. Rev. Francis Goodwin was a longtime member of the Monday Evening Club [Andrews 103].
Robert Underwood Johnson for Century Magazine wrote and enclosed an article that showed they were “squinting toward the War Book,” and would Sam review the proofs once more?
Would there be any objection to putting you in the pillory of the footnote? Some humorists don’t like fun but I credit you with being above the defects of the profesh! [MTP].