March 20 Friday – In Riverdale, N.Y. Sam wrote to Lawrence J. Anhalt, theatrical manager and producer who was seeking an interview.
I could not see you last night, I had gone to bed tired out. The man-servant should have told you I have but one business hour and that is in the morning; then you would have been saved that useless trip. An hour ago I could not stop to talk with you by telephone; I had just been called to the sick room. What you had been proposing to me was a two thousand dollar job if done with the pen. In my letter I meant to say as softly as I could that my price for oral work would be double; the sum of these expressions to convey to you politely instead of brutally the conviction that we could not do business together and could save valuable time by not trying [MTP]. Note: Anhalt was credited with disovering and developing Katharine Hepburn.
Sam also wrote to Joseph W. Hollister:
“Indeed, yes, it will be placed with my trophies and kept, kept to remind me that the saying is true that a body cannot do his best and not find somewhere recognition and the good word that abundantly reward the effort. I thank you for sending it to me” [MTP]. Note: Paine identfies Hollister as an editorial writer, who sent Sam an editorial suggesting Mark Twain would be a good candidate for President [MTB 1201].
Sam also replied “To a Denver fool,” Celia B. Whitehead, Denver writer (pseudonym Henrietta James), who wrote on Mar. 15.
Surely the Outlook could not well do otherwise than decline it. It could hardly venture to publish a humorous article as a serious one. The fact that you did not know it was humorous would be no protection. Your article reasons out—with apparent conviction—that no lies are necessary & that all lies are avoidable: including, of course, unspoken lies, lies of gesture & expression, lies by intimation, etc. Well, your article is an elaborated intimation that this is proven & established in your own case, & by experience, not hearsay. This silent lie, this unarticulated lie, this lie by intimation, this mighty, this prodigious, this immeasurable falsehood, must have made those hardened old trained editors scream with delight, for there is nothing so funny as humor which takes itself seriously,—but they couldn’t publish it; surely you must see that, yourself. It would put them in a most embarras[s]ing position before the world …./ P. S. I read your letter merely with a glance, for I am desperately driven even half-seconds have value when one is old & crowded, & I didn’t see what you said about sarcasm—but now I have plowed my pen through the sarcastic part & made it all pleasant [MTP].
Sam’s notebook: “APH / You cannot by correspondence do a stranger a kindness & not repent of it” [NB 46 TS 12].
C. Brereton Sharpe for the Plasmon Syndicate wrote to Sam [MTP]. UCCL 48775 letter is not currently available.