December 18 Thursday – Sam wrote from Hartford to Frank B. Earnest (suspected pseudonym of a journalist, probably from the Knoxville Tribune, where this reply was first printed, then reprinted in the New York Times on Jan. 2, 1880.)

Dear Sir: I thank you very much for that pleasant article. Of course, it is not for me to judge between Artemus & myself or trade merits, but when it comes to speaking of matters personal, I am a good witness. Artemus was one of the kindest & gentlest men in the world, & the hold which he took on the Londoners surpasses imagination. To this day one of the first questions which a Londoner asks me is if I knew Artemus Ward; the answer, “yes,” makes that man my friend on the spot. Artemus seems to have been on the warmest terms with thousands of those people. Well, he seems never to have written a harsh thing against anybody — neither have I, for that matter — at least nothing harsh enough for a body to fret about — & I think he never felt bitter toward people. There may have been three or four other people like that in the world at one time or another, but they probably died a good while ago. I think his lecture on the “Babes in the Wood” was the funniest thing I ever listened to. Artemus once said to me gravely, almost sadly, “Clemens, I have done too much fooling, too much trifling; I am going to write something that will live.”

      “Well, what, for instance?”

      In the same grave way, he said:

      “A lie.”

      It was an admirable surprise; I was just getting ready to cry, he was becoming so pathetic. This has never been in print — you should give it to your friend of the American, for I judge by what he writes on Artemus that he will appreciate it. I think it’s mighty bright — as well for its quiet sarcasm as for its happy suddenness & unexpectedness [MTLE 4: 181].