July 2 Saturday – In Elmira Sam attended the baseball game but declined to umpire. From the Brooklyn Eagle of July 3, 1887, p 16.
THE MAYOR PLAYED BALL
L.. — —
But Mark Twain and Thomas K
Beecher Declined to be Umpires
ELMIRA, N.Y., July 2
Mark Twain and the Rev. Thomas K. Beecher were advertised to umpire an old fashioned game of base ball in this city this afternoon. The Mayor and other representative men of the city played in the game, but neither Clemens nor Beecher acted as umpire. Twain said he could not make a martyr of himself notwithstanding the fact that he would be glad to perish in a good cause, and took a seat by Mr. Beecher in the grandstand. Twain used a big fan in a vigorous manner, and said that he would encourage the players with his presence, but he must refuse to go out in the sun.
Henry Guy Carleton’s “TWAIN AS UMPIRE,” Boston Daily Globe, p.1, July 3, 1887, was a much more complete account the event with three cartoon engravings of the action. According to Carleton, Twain and Beecher did umpire for a while, though the spoof borders on the insane.
ELMIRA, July 2. — I left New York last evening to attend the base ball match here between the Alerts and the Unions, Governor Hill being unable to come, and journeyed up by way of the Delaware & Lackawanna. …
Umpire Mark Twain.
The umpire selected by the Unions was Rev. Thomas K. Beecher, who is so expert as to be able to umpire just as well with his eyes closed as open. This aroused the jealousy of the Alerts, who selected as their umpire John R. Joslyn, who can give decisions by telephone just as well as when on the ground. These appointments gave great satisfaction, but at the last moment Mark Twain arrived from the reformatory and threatened the terrified players that if he were not appointed general umpire at once he would lecture that night and depopulate the county. As no militia were within call, and the local authorities were powerless to interfere, the appointment was made. …
Game Called.
Game was called at 4.20 p.m. and the Alerts went to bat. Most of them had been alert on a bat the night before to practice.
The umpires were placed for safe keeping in the judges’ box and the scorers occupied the front rows on the grand stand.
Mark Twain called time and Mayor Stanchfield delivered the first ball, which cleared the home plate by 11 feet and smote an inoffensive justice of the peace in the ear. Umpires Beecher and Joslyn pronounced it one ball and Mark Twain pronounced it a strike, and laid down the following rules:
Any ball is a strike that passes within eight feet of the plate on either side of it.
To wait for good balls causes delay and public dissatisfaction, and is not going to be allowed on this occasion. The batsmen will strike at everything that comes whether he can reach it or not. In waiting intervals, pecking at the plate with the bat to see if it is there will not be allowed. The batsman is denied all professional affectations; he must stand up straight and attend strictly to business.
These rules were demurred to by Messrs. Beecher and Joslyn, but after a brief conference with Twain under the grand stand, Mr. Beecher came up minus his back hair and Mr. Joslyn appeared without his right ear and with four teeth missing, and both said they agreed entirely with the chief umpire and would retire…
Smart Playing.
Mayor Stanchfield now delivered his second ball, which Denton neatly stopped with the pit of his stomach, was allowed a base by the umpire, and went to first on a stretcher. Mark Twain then issued the following ruling:
“The pitcher must not wipe the ball on his pants; neither must he keep inspecting it and squirming and twisting it and trying to rub the skin off it with his hands. He must not keep the public waiting while he makes allusory feints at reputable parties on first and second base. All these foolings delay the game and dull the excitement.” ….
Mark Twain delivered the following decision: “No more than 15 men at a time will be allowed to leave their places to chase a foul or a fly or a bluebottle and prevent the capture of it….” On the second innings Mark Twain umpired again, and allowed the Unions 61 runs on one foul, ruling that they could continue to run until the ball was found. [Note: John Stanchfield, the pitcher mentioned in the article was Clara Spaulding Stanchfield’s husband. Clara gave birth the following day.]
An agreement with this date exacted support from Sam up to $3,000 for Paige’s dynamo and motor, now in development. Sam was to benefit by a half-share of the profits. Sam, at Whitmore’s counsel, did not sign this contract; another was made on Aug. 16 [MTNJ 3: 338n111].