December 31 Monday – At 21 Fifth Ave, N.Y. Sam wrote a postcard to Andrew Carnegie and Louise W. Carnegie. “Unto / Mrs. Carnegie / & St. Andrew / a happy New Year & repetitions of it.† Mark” [MTP].
Sam also wrote a postcard to Gertrude Natkin at 138 W. 98 N.Y.C.: “A happy New Year to you, dear Marjorie, & many repetitions of the like!” [MTP]. Note: see Feb. 20, 1907 for her delayed reply.
The New York Times, p.1, reported on the New Year’s Eve party thrown at his home for Clara Clemens.
MARK TWAIN AND TWIN CHEER NEW YEAR’S PARTY
Humorist in a Siamese Twin Act at His House.
TWO JOINED BY A RIBBON
——— ——— ———
Twin Gets Drunk and the Joy of it Penetrates to Twain While Lecturing on Temperance.
The last thing Mark Twain did in 1906 was to get drunk and deliver a lecture on temperance, and the first thing he did in 1907 was to glory in the fact that he would be able to rejoice over other dead people when he died in having been the first man to have telharmonium music turned on in his house—“like gas.” Of course Mark Twain did not really get drunk any more than he delivered a real lecture on temperance. He imitated a drunken man and a temperance lecturer at one and the same time, and took all the glory for the lecture to himself while he blamed his Siamese brother for the jag.
Those who have never heard that Mr. Clemens has a Siamese brother, must be told that he only had such a relative for one night only, and the occasion was a party given to a few friends in honor of Miss Clemens, at the author’s home, 21 Fifth Avenue, last night, or partially this morning, for all well-regulated cases of intoxication last more than fifteen minutes, even the imitations and the imitation given last night and given in such style that even the most ardent admirer had to admit that Mark was at least a close observer, resulted in what might be termed colloquilly a “hold over.” During the hold over Mr. Clemens had something to say about politics.
The score or so of guests who had passed the evening playing charades and other games were surprised to see Mr. Clemens enter the drawing room on to the little stage at 11:30, dressed in the white suit he wore recently on Pennsylvania Avenue, Washington.
With him, in a similar white suit, came a young gentleman whom the author introduced to the company as his Siamese brother. The two had their arms about each other, and their suits were fastened together with a pink ribbon supposed to represent a ligature. Twain was rather short and broad and his hair was snow white. His brother was very tall and very slight and had black hair. It was easy to see that they were brothers. Mark remarked on the close resemblance almost as soon as he came into the room.
“We come from afar,” said Mark. “We come from very far; very far, indeed—as far as New Jersey. We are the Siamese twins, but we have been in this country long enough to know something of your customs, and we have learned as much of your language as it is written and spoke as—well—as the newspapers.”
“We are so much to each other, my brother and I, that what I eat nourishes him and what he drinks—ahem!—nourishes me. I often eat when I don’t really want to because he is hungry, and, of course, I need hardly tell you that he often drinks when I am not thirsty.
“I am sorry to say that he is a confirmed consumer of liquor—liquor, that awful, awful curse— while I, from principle, and also from the fact that I don’t like the taste, never touch a drop.”
Mark then went on to say that he had been asked to take up the temperance cause and had done so with great success, taking his brother along as a horrible example.
“It has often been a source of considerable annoyance to me, when going about the country lecturing on temperance, to find myself at the head of a procession of white-ribbon people—so drunk I couldn’t see,” he said. “But I am thankful to say that my brother, has reformed.”
At this point the Siamese brother surreptitiously took a drink out of a flask.
“He hasn’t touched a drop in three years.”
“Another drink.”
“He never will touch a drop.”
“Thank God for that.”
Several drinks.
“And if, by exhibiting my brother to you, I can save any of you people here from the horrible curse of the demon rum!” Mark fairly howled, “I shall be satisfied.”
Just then apparently some of the rum or the influence of it, got through the pink ribbon. Mark hiccoughed several times.
“Zish is wonderful reform—“
Another drink.
“Wonder’l ‘form we are ‘gaged in.”
“Glorious work—we doin’ glorious work—glori-o—u-s work. Best work ever done, my brother and work of reform, reform work, glorious work. I don’ feel jus’ right.”
The company by this time was hysterical was [sic] laughter. Mark was staggering about on the improvised stage, apparently horribly under the influence. Hs brother still held the bottle and was still putting it to the use for which it was made.
The laughter became so great that it was impossible for the old man to carry on the little farce any longer, and in a few minutes the Telharmonium music, played a mile and a half away up on Broadway, was turned on and it was playing “Auld Lang Syne” when the New Year was ushered in [Note: of course the party ended on Jan. 1, 1907].
Paine writes of the evening:
I recall two pleasant social events of that winter: one a little party given at the Clemenses’ home on New-Year’s Eve, with charades and story-telling and music. It was the music feature of this party that was distinctive; it was supplied by wire through an invention known as the telharmonium which, it was believed, would revolutionize musical entertainment in such places as hotels, and to some extent in private houses. The music came over the regular telephone wire, and was delivered through a series of horns or megaphones — similar to those used for phonographs — the playing being done, meanwhile, by skilled performers at the central station.
Just why the telharmonium has not made good its promises of popularity I do not know. Clemens was filled with enthusiasm over the idea. He made a speech a little before midnight, in which he told how he had generally been enthusiastic about inventions which had turned out more or less well in about equal proportions. He did not dwell on the failures, but he told how he had been the first to use a typewriter for manuscript work; how he had been one of the earliest users of the fountain-pen; how he had installed the first telephone ever used in a private house, and how the audience now would have a demonstration of the first telharmonium music so employed. It was just about the stroke of midnight when he finished, and a moment later the horns began to play chimes and “Auld Lang Syne” and “America” [MTB 1364].
Isabel Lyon’s journal:
June 12—I look ahead to this day with a great solemnity.
All the preparations for the party were completed—-electric music, a stage built, an awning out and everything arranged for the guests to appear at 9. At 8:40 in walked Mrs. Lawrence [sic Laurence] Hutton and Mrs. [von] Rottenburg Philps [Phelps], & stood in the hall with Mr. Clemens’s baby bottle in my hand and looked the surprise I felt—for one of them said, “Don’t be so alarmed, we didn’t want to arrive so soon.” However, all went beautifully. Pamela Coleman [sic Colman] Smith sat between two candles and told some darling Jamaica folk stories, she is a quaint creature and a protegé of Ellen Terry, a protegé—which led some who should have known better to tell C.C. that she was an illegitimate daughter of Ellen Terry. I asked AB about her mother and he knew her, and has known about the family for many years. The charade went off with great success. Bynner really was the star of the evening for his acting in Sham was excellent. “Pain” was Mr. Clemens as a baby once more, & Champagne was Bynner & Mr. Clemens as twins; B drinking steadily but the effect passing into Mr. Clemens who was giving temperance lecture. Very good it was & there were about 60 people here—but I’m much too tired to write of things as they really were. The telharmonium music was installed & at midnight there was an exhibition of it, for a Mr. Guy was at hand to direct things. It’s very wonderful, even though it is not yet perfected [MTP TS 156-157]. Note: Marian Phelps von Rottenburg (Mrs. Franz von Rottenburg; 1868-1922) only daughter of William Walter Phelps divorced Franz sometime after 1900 and remarried Theodore Peters; Clemens had been one of 24 invited to the Phelps-von Rottenburg wedding (see May 19 and May 29, 1893 entries); Pamela Colman Smith (1878-1951), nickname “Pixie,” artist, illustrator, and writer, best known for designing the Waite-Smith deick of tarot cards. She wrore and illustrated several books on Jamaican folklore. She is not in Gribben.
George J. Helmer wrote from NYC to Sam. “Just a word of New Years Greeting and to ask you advice on a very important matter. Mrs Clemens before sailing to Italy expressed a desire that my little boy, Geo. J. Jr. now 4 years old, should have inscribed copies of your books. What I wish to know is how to obtain same with least trouble to you” [MTP]. On or after this day Sam gave instructions on the bottom of Helmer’s letter to Isabel Lyon: “Have read his letter. dont submit letter. What does he want—3 or 4 books? send vol no 1” [MTP].